If I Could Love You Without Breaking

-

 If I could love you  

Without falling to pieces,  

I would have stayed.  

I would have whispered your name  

Into the quiet of every night  

And kissed your sadness  

Until it forgot how to stay.


But love

The kind I felt for you

Wasn't soft.  

It burned in my chest,  

Clawed at my sleep,  

And left me wondering  

If I was loving you  

Or slowly losing myself.


I gave too much  

Hoping you’d give just enough.  

I held my breath  

While you measured your silences.  

I stayed still  

While your moods moved like storms.


I wanted to be your peace

But I became your pause,  

Your maybe,  

Your “not now.”


So I left,  

Not because I stopped loving you

But because I had to love myself  

Before I disappeared completely.


If I could love you  

Without breaking,  

You’d still be the poem I wake up with.  

But now

You are the lesson I carry  

In every quiet goodbye...


Nidal Sati



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